Over time with regards to
gay men, diverse ideas or beliefs have risen and have thrived. It is true that
every individual is entitled to personal opinion and belief, but it is also true
that not all of these beliefs are accurate or even reasonable. A majority of
them are rather outrageous. The tendency to judge a book by its cover or to
make an attempt at describing the pain caused to the foot that stays in a
particular footwear which one has never tried on has always been high among
folks and about gay men and their own “normal” world, the case is no different.
There are several misconceptions about gay men, but few are highlighted here to
enlighten even the least number of persons who may stumble on this piece.
1. BEING GAY IS A CHOICE
This is one of the most
incorrect misconceptions heterosexual persons have about gay men. If a majority
of gay men had the luxury of choice, they would have forced their way into the
rigid stereotypic sphere carved out by society called heterosexuality. No one
has ever chosen to be gay. Even those who may claim to have been pushed to the
wall after a very distressful disappointment from a person of the opposite sex
can be proven to have that disappointment as an immediate cause founded on one
that is remote when a closer look at their past or sexual cravings is taken.
2. BEING GAY IS A CURSE OR PUNISHMENT FROM GOD
If God wanted to punish a
person, I’m quite certain this wouldn’t be his last take on the menu.
3. GAYS CAN NEVER LOVE A LADY SINCERELY
An attraction to the same
sex may be present, but the truth is that the heart (perceived to be the part of
the human that beats in sync with human emotions of love or hatred) is not a
sexual organ, and the mind of the individual is not regulated based on sexual
parameters. They don’t really care. Love and care from whoever is all that
counts. Gay men have the same hearts as heterosexual men.
4. THEY ARE A NOTORIOUSLY PROMISCUOUS GROUP EVEN WHEN SERIOUSLY INVOLVED WITH ANOTHER PARTNER
While it is generally
thought that gay men usually cannot help but have numerous sexual partners, it
does not make heterosexual men anymore righteous than gay men are. Sexual
orientation really has nothing to do with attitude towards commitment. As a
matter of fact, their chances of being less promiscuous are higher due to the
closed circle within which they exist and the societal disapproval they have to
put up with.
5. THEY ARE BORN THAT WAY AND ARE THEREFORE DOOMED TO THEIR FATE
Inasmuch as many gay men grew to discover that they sexually attracted to the same sex, a good number of gay men
have experiences of sexual abuse and molestation by adult males who have always
claimed membership of the heterosexual class. Having been exposed to this part
of life, they gradually grow into the real deal. So, it is a fifty-fifty thing.
6. GAY MEN ARE SEXUALLY EXCITED BY AND ATTRACTED TO ANYTHING THAT HAS A PENIS
This is a very deep and
unfortunate misconception. Gay men also have taste and exercise the power of
choice in this regard just like heterosexual men do. A gay man may see someone
of the same sex fully clothed or even nude before his presence and still find
him as disgusting as fuck!
7. THEY CAN NEVER HAVE A STABLE MARITAL EXPERIENCE WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX DUE TO THE CHALLENGES OF ADDICTION
No matter how high a
particular hurdle is, it can always be overcome. With discipline and
determination, their heterosexual relationships can succeed well enough.
8. GAY MEN ARE USUALLY QUEENY OR EFFEMINATE
This is so not true.
There are gay men out there who are very much masculine and muscular with belly
packs. Body build, dress sense or walking step isn’t all there is to it. A guy
may also be somewhat effeminate and not even gay at all. These variables aren’t
really as fixed as society has made them seem. Recently, the ones coming out as
gay men are masculine than the word masculine.
9. GAYS ARE MENTALLY DERANGED
This assertion holds no
water. There are successful gay individuals, celebrities and others who have
shown no trait of mental illness. Besides, there is even no specific proof in
favour of that.
10. GAY MEN ARE THE PEDOPHILES IN OUR WORLD
All men possess equal
tendencies of pedophilia. It ought not to be restricted to gay men. Majority of
cases where boys are molested reveal the culprits as heterosexual men judging
from their adult relationships (since many of them are married persons). While
some gay men could be pedophilic, heterosexual men also have their share of the
space. This cannot be denied.
11. ALL GAY MEN ARE COOKS AND LOVERS OF HOUSEHOLD CHORES AND ALL MALE COOKS AND LOVERS OF HOUSEHOLD CHORES ARE GAY MEN
Society has made cooking
and household chores a woman’s thing in a house where both man and woman feed
and live. The nourishment of one’s own body isn’t what should be left to the
care of another. If a man takes delight in cooking, cleaning and tidying up
even in the presence of his wife or girlfriend or sister, it doesn’t make him
less of a man; it doesn’t push him into the woman’s world as such. On the other
hand, certain men who are gay find these same tasks irritating and demeaning.
These things have their straight paths which, of course, should be respected.
In sum, because times change, judging a book by its cover can be very misleading. We are now
in a world where people put on fictional characters in order to blend with the
socially constructed norms and beliefs.
What other
misconception(s) about gay men do you know?
Tags:
Sex Life and Sexuality
